Truth or Dare
by HopelessBlonde and XoXMioneXoX
Summary: Ever wanted to know what a wizard game of truth or dare is like with your favorite HP characters? Read to find out! Funny funny funny! r
1. The Beginning

Truth or Dare  
  
By: HopelessBlonde and XoXMioneXoX (Leah and Kara)  
  
Disclaimer: We own NOTHING. Never did, never will. However, Leah, wishes to own Tom Felton, and Sean Biggerstaff *Leah gets starry eyed*. Kara slaps Leah upside the head. We rest our case.  
  
It was Hermione's 7th year and she was Head Girl Draco was Head boy. Ron, Harry, Ginny, and Lavender were all going to the Head Girl room to play a nice game of truth or dare. *Evil laugh* They walked up to the portrait and Harry said "Got Milk?"  
  
Mione: Yo! Blondie, where'd you come up with that? HopelessBlonde: In a book, Milk Does the Body Good! And don't call me blondie! *Said while wearing a milk mustache*  
  
The portrait opened they went in the common room only to find Hermione reading the ingredients on the back of a bag of nail polish remover.  
  
Mione: Bag of nail polish remover? No more chocolate for you. HopelessBlonde: *on knees begging* just 1 more piece, 1 more piece I need it!  
  
Hermione looked up and said, "hey want something to eat, Draco is in the shower he will be out in a few minutes then we can play." Draco walked out of the bathroom wearing black pants and a white T-shirt. In four days it would be Christmas and every one was excited. Draco said, "let the reindeer games begin". Hermione and Harry laughed because Draco Malfoy used a muggle metaphor. Ron said, "I'll start first". "Ginny truth or dare?" "Dare," said Ginny bravely. "I dare you to charm yourself to walk on your hands, and come in the great hall butt ass naked tomorrow" he said. "What if I don't do it?" asked Ginny. "You will have a charm put on you where on the outside you're a boy/girl but on the inside you will be yourself inside then you have to walk in the great hall" said Ron. "Okay fine the last thing I want to do is look like you Ron!" yelled Ginny. "Okay Lavender truth or dare?" Ginny asked. "Dare," said Lavender. "I dare you to charm your hair green, and wear all silver make-up, then on your forehead put Slytherin slut at heart and say you're pregnant with Draco's baby" said Ginny grinning. "Okay, fine ill do it," said Lavender disgustingly. "Harry truth or dare?" "Dare" Harry said. "I dare you to tell Snape that you are gay and you want in his pants" Harry grinned and agreed. "Draco truth or dare?" Harry asked. "Ugh. Dare" Draco said. "I dare you to come in the Great hall and French kiss Crabbe and Goyle" Harry said. Draco shuddered and said, "fine". "Hermione truth or dare?" "Dare" Hermione said". "Hermione your dare has 2 parts. The first part is I dare you to walk up to Snape and French him. The 2nd part is I dare you to strip in Potions class". "Ugh okay fine Draco." "Ron truth or dare?" "Dare" he said. "Okay I dare you to make Snape sing and dance to Aqua's song Barbie Girl" Hermione said laughing. Ron thought about this for a few minutes then said, "consider it done!" The rest of the night went on like this, and then finally it was Monday and today would be an interesting day. "Something going to happen today thought Dumbledore"  
  
Mione: If only he knew. HopelessBlonde: Look Mione, I can fly! *On roof on a broom* Mione: No! Blondie get down from there! *Crashing sound* HopelessBlonde: Ouch! I hurt me bum! And oh no I broke my granny's broom! I'm gonna be in so much trouble! Mione: *sighs* Back to the story now.  
  
In Potions class, Draco sat beside Hermione it was the class right before dinner. Draco looked at Hermione and said, "okay he's not expecting anything you have 10 minutes before dinner" "Okay, okay, okay, calm down Draco" Hermione said glancing down at her watch. Hermione got up and walked over to the professor and said "I have always had a crush on you and I wanna prove it now to the whole class". Draco got up and turned on a tape player that was getting ready to play Britney Spears song 'I'm a Slave for You'.  
  
Mione: Blondie, where was your head when you wrote this? HopelessBlonde: It was on vacation in Hawaii, and it brought me back one of those cool little hula dancers!  
  
When it started playing she sat on his lap and unbuttoned her robes, and threw them on the floor. Hermione looked up at Snape his mouth was on the floor (Blondie gets up and starts dancing) looking at her. She took her finger and closed his mouth and started unbuttoning her shirt to reveal her black bra. Snape gulped. Everyone was totally surprised except Draco, Harry, Ron, and Lavender. They all smirked and didn't think she would go through with it. The bell rang, and Draco turned off the music right when Hermione was getting ready to take off her skirt. She put back on her clothes and winked at him, then left. Snape watched her leave, and yelled, "what the fuck was that all about?!", Then he left for dinner. Ginny met Lavender in the hall they had to get 'ready' for the so-called "ball". Hermione, Harry, Ron, and Draco left to go to dinner, this was gonna blow the schools mind. After they took their seats Draco at the Slytherin table, and the Trio at the Gryffindor table the doors burst open and in came Ginny in her 'Birthday suit' walking on her hands over to the Gryffindor table.  
  
Mione: Uh-huh Blondie.BLONDIE! Are you okay? HopelessBlonde: *rocking in corner* I'm not going to the white padded room, I'm not going to the white padded room.  
  
When she sat down Dumbledore was getting ready to say something. When Ginny stood up and said, "everyone, as much as I hate to say, but I am pregnant with Ron's baby" The entire hall fell silent then they head someone from the Teacher table stand up and start dancing and singing Barbie Girl. It was Professor Snape! He started singing:  
  
*Blondie jumps up and sings* You're not taking me to the white padded room because I'm a barbie girl, in a barbie world. Mione: I don't know you.  
  
Hi Barbie  
  
Hi Ken  
  
Do you wanna go for a ride?  
  
Sure Ken Jump In...  
  
(Chorus) I´m a barbie girl, in a barbie world Life in plastic, it´s fantastic. you can brush my hair, undress me everywhere. Imagination, that is your creation.  
  
Come on Barbie, let´s go party!  
  
(Chorus)  
  
I´m a blond bimbo girl, in a fantasy world, Dress me up, make it tight, I´m your darling.  
  
You are my doll, rock´n´roll, feel the glamouring thing, kiss me here, touch me there, hanky panky.  
  
You can touch, you can play, if you say  
  
"I´m always yours" uu-oohuh..  
  
(Chorus)  
  
Come on Barbie, let´s go party! (4 times)  
  
Make me walk, make me talk, do whatever you please, I can act like a star, I can beg on my knees.  
  
Come jump in, be my friend, let us do it again, hit the town, fool around, let´s go party  
  
You can touch, you can play, if you say: "I´m always yours"  
  
You can touch, you can play, if you say: "I´m always yours"  
  
Come on Barbie, let´s go party! (4 times)  
  
(2x Chorus)  
  
Come on Barbie, let´s go party! (4 times)  
  
Oh I´m having so much fun!  
  
Well Barbie, we just getting started.  
  
Oh, I love you Ken.  
  
When Snape returned to his senses he saw the entire Hall laughing at him he just sat back down and was muttering to himself when Ron Weasley jumped up and ran to the teacher table and frenched everyone of them at this point Professor McGonagall fainted. Only to miss Draco Malfoy walk over to the Gryffindor table and ask Harry to marry him. Then Lavender Brown walked in wearing only Green Underwear and bra with silver hair and makeup with dark green writing on her stomach that said 'Slytherin Slut at Heart'. And then on her back it said 'Watch out Pansy Lavender Brown's here'. At this time Madame Hooch fainted, to miss Lavender say I am pregnant with Draco Malfoy's baby. Harry said, "you bitch!" then slapped Draco. Then walked up to Snape and said -loud enough for the hall to hear, "Professor Snape, sir I want you badly in bed and I want to have you as my lover instead of Professor" Harry tried hard to keep a straight face. Draco got up and said, "and you call me a bitch!" then went over to the Slytherin table only to have 2 teachers faint. This time, Draco went and kissed Crabbe and Goyle. Harry said, "you man whore I got Hermione pregnant so beat that" Hermione cried fake tears and said "I only love Professor Snape" then she ran up and kissed him passionately. Then Snape fainted. Dumbledore stood up and yelled "MISS BROWN, MISS GRANGER, MISS WEASLEY, MR POTTER, MR WEASLEY, AND MR MALFOY MY OFFICE NOW!"  
  
Mione: There's the end of that.Blondie, you need to lay off the cussing HopelessBlonde: Oh shut up you goody-goody and stop calling me Blondie! Oh BTW, all you people who were wondering, I did all of those things of my own free will! And, BTW They didn't take me to the white-padded room! Peace out my little duckies! 


	2. Dumbledore's Office

Truth or Dare  
  
Dumbledore's Office: Chapter 2  
  
By: HopelessBlonde & XoXMioneXoX  
  
A/N: Were BACK! Thanks for the WONDERFUL Reviews! We love you *throws money to everyone who reviewed* Mione: Thanks bunches everyone! We loved your reviews! I'm touched *sniffle*  
  
Blondie: Oh shut up and get on with the story.  
  
The 6 students followed Dumbledore silently to his office.  
  
Mione: Why were they so quiet Blondie?  
  
Blondie: I don't know it might be because they saw Snape and Filth snogging. *Both shudder*  
  
Dumbledore walked over to the dragons. "Flushable toilet." the dragon sprang to life and the wall opened.  
  
Mione: Flushable toilet?  
  
Auto Response from Blondie: NOOO YOU STUPID SISTER HOW COULD YOU LET THE TELETUBBIES TAKE ME AWAY HELP SYS!  
  
Mione: *sighs* Guess that means "save your sister".  
  
"I'm quite disappointed in you" Dumbledore said looking out the window. "However it was funny as hell" "Sir?" Hermione asked. "Yes?" "Are you feeling well?" "Yes of course, now who wants to have a tea party?" he asked. "No thanks sir", were the replies then they slowly got up and took off. "Stop right there!" Dumbledore yelled. "Sit down and have a tea party!" so there was Dumbledore, Hermione, Harry, Lavender, Ron, Ginny, Draco, and four evil looking Barbie dolls having tea.  
  
Mione: Four evil looking Barbie dolls? You seriously did lose it.no wait, you never had it.  
  
Blondie: Thanks for bailing me out of highland.my brain we on vacation AGAIN!  
  
"Can we leave now?" Harry asked. "Yes you ungrateful little shits." Dumbledore muttered. They flew out of the room then McGonagall came out wearing a emerald French maid outfit, then Snape come out in a blue French maid suit.  
  
Blondie: AHHHHH BRAIN COME BACK IM SORRY FOR WHAT I SAID ABOUT YOU!  
  
Mione: Oh gosh. Call the paramedics. Blondie: What's a paramedic? Mione: Never mind.  
  
"Well, that was odd," said Hermione. "Tell me about it" Draco muttered. "Atleast we got out" Ginny said. "Yeah.if we had to have one more cup of tea with Barbie, Kelly, Stacy, and Skipper, I was going to hurl." Ron said disgustingly. "Yeah.I never thought Dumbledore could act so weird.I mean seriously, where can an old guy like him get a hold of Barbie Dolls?" Lavender said. "I dunno, I thought Skipper was sorta sexy" Draco said while grinning. That comment was rewarded with a smack on the head from Ginny.  
  
Mione: Don't feel bad Ginny, I would've hit him too. Blondie: Mione, you touch my baby, and I'll put my foot up your ass. Mione: Fine, then stay away from Kevin.  
  
"So." Draco said. "Who's up for another round of Truth or Dare?" "Oh god" Hermione said. "I'm all for it" Ron said. "I'm ready to have good ol' Lav here hex herself into something gruesome!" They all laughed. "Okay" Harry said. "We'll meet on the Quidditch Pitch tonight at 10:30" "Done" they all said.  
  
Mione: This is gonna be.um, how should I put this.interesting. Blondie: *singing* Yall gonna make me lose my mind. Mione: Never mind.  
  
They all gathered on the Quidditch pitch at 10:30. "Okay" Draco said. "I'll start". "Hermione, truth or dare?" "Truth" Hermione said. "Okay, do you think I'm sexy?" Draco said with a smile. Hermione blushed and said, "kinda" They all laughed, running around chanting 'Hermione likes Draco, Hermione likes Draco'. They soon came to a sudden halt when Draco levitated them up in the air, and wouldn't let them down till they apologized. "My turn! Harry, truth or dare?" Hermione said. "Dare", Harry said. "Okay.at the match tomorrow, you have to play naked." Hermione said, stifling her giggles. They all laughed. "This should be interesting" Ron said in between laughs. "Okay, Ginny, truth or dare?" Harry said. "Truth" Ginny said. "Okay, have you ever slept with anyone? If so, who?" Harry said.  
  
Mione: I hope you know there is a curse on them. If they lie, we'll know, because they'll immediately start gaining weight. If they get caught lying, they have to do a dare.  
  
Ginny blushed. "No." She immediately started gaining weight. Ron jumped up immediately and started yelling "WHO? WHO?" "Nothing Ron! Just shut up!" Ginny said. Draco blushed. "A-ha!" Harry said, "I know who it is!" "Ginny, you have to turn yourself into an ogre for 24 hours, and you have to do it, because you lied" "Fine" Ginny said.  
  
Blondie: YOU SKANK! How dare you sleep with my man! Mione: Settle down!  
  
"Now, back to the game" Ginny said. "Lavender, truth or dare?" "Dare." Lavender said confidently. "Okay, when we have CoMC, you have to go skinny- dipping in the lake" Ginny said. "Fine. Ron, truth or dare?" Lavender said. "Dare" he said hesitantly. "Okay, you have to get up in front of the entire great hall and say you slept with Snape last night." They all laughed. Ron looked disgusted but agreed. The night went on like this with more wacky challenges and questions, until finally the group went to bed. The next morning, the fun began again.  
  
Mione: Oh no.here it comes. Blondie: Here what comes? Mione: Never mind.  
  
Ron, Harry, Draco, Hermione, and Lavender walked into the great hall, for what seemed like was going to be a peaceful day. Soon enough, Ron jumped up on the table, confessing that he had slept with Snape. Snape fainted, and the whole hall was in shock. Then, Ginny walked in as an ogre with firey red hair.  
  
Mione: I'd hate to see Ginny like that.she's so pretty Blondie: She deserves it.she slept with my man.  
  
The whole hall panicked. Some ran around and ran into walls. Some just stood there in shock. Others fainted. Soon, it was time for the quidditch match. As the players soared out on the field, Harry came zooming out on his Firebolt, naked. Several teachers and students fainted. Some just stood in shock. Dumbledore called off the match and they were soon back in his office with the Barbie dolls again.  
  
Mione: Gosh I feel sorry for them.  
  
Blondie: Oh look at the pretty Barbies!  
  
Many tea parties later.  
  
"I'm so sick of tea I could scream" Ron said. "Yeah.that was cruel and unusual punishment" Lavender replied. They were forced to attend 6 tea parties a day for 2 months.yuck."I'll never play truth or dare again" Ginny said. "Yeah" they all agreed. But soon enough they found themselves out on the quidditch pitch playing again. By the time they were out of Hogwarts, they never had another cup of tea.again.  
  
Mione: Sniffle.it's all over. Blondie: Oh well, we'll write another fic soon. Mione: YAY! Happy, happy, happy! Blondie: Bye! We'll write you another CRAZY fic soon! Mione: Gosh I hope she doesn't talk about the white padded room again. Blondie: OH NO YOU'RE NOT TAKING ME THERE AGAIN! Mione: Bye everyone! Blondie: *voice sounds far off* You won't get me.never, never, never.BYE MY LITTLE DUCKIES! I'll miss you! 


End file.
